What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I need a beard to bite.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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