Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Panties = found
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
