shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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