i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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