The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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