i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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