just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
