You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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