I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
