White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
