its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
