No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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