# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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