Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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