We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
