Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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