My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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