You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
