You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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