her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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