Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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