You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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