one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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