he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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