No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
