So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
