It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
