He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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