Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
