He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize