just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
