When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
