So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
