I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
