Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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