you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
