I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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