Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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