My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
