I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
