I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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