She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
