oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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