I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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