my vag is so smooth its legendary
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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