Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
