We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
