Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize