We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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