why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
