allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
