He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
