My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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