Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
wow bdsm is so cute
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