We're like a lot better than the average bears
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
