whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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