Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
