Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
