Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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