I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
