hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize