just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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