My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
