Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
