so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
