How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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