the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
