too bad you live with your parents still
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
