we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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