Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize