Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
