Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
