I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
