my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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