Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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