New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
