my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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